February and the Myth of Failed New Year’s Resolutions
Every year, January arrives with a familiar promise: this will be the year I finally change everything. We make bold New Year’s resolutions (i.e to wake up earlier, eat better, exercise more, be calmer, be more productive, be a better version of ourselves).
And then February arrives.
By now, many people feel a quiet sense of disappointment. The motivation has faded, routines have slipped and that hopeful January energy feels far away. It can feel like you’ve failed…again.
But here’s the truth: you’re not a failure.
What often fails isn’t you, but the way we set ourselves up for change.
Why New Year’s Resolutions So Often Fall Apart
February is widely known as the month where most New Year’s resolutions quietly dissolve. Not because people don’t care enough but because many resolutions are built on extremes.
We ask ourselves to change everything at once:
Go from no exercise to five days a week.
Completely overhaul how we eat.
Wake up an hour earlier, suddenly and consistently.
Be more patient; less anxious; more disciplined, all at the same time
These goals often ignore the realities of daily life like work stress, emotional exhaustion, family responsibilities and simply being human.
When change requires constant willpower, it becomes unsustainable. Motivation is never meant to carry us forever and when it fades, we tend to blame ourselves rather than the unrealistic expectations we set.
You Didn’t Fail, the Goal Wasn’t Sustainable
Many people internalise this moment as personal failure: “I just don’t have enough discipline” or “I can never stick to anything.”
But change doesn’t work best through pressure or self-criticism. It works through consistency, kindness and realistic expectations.
Rather than asking, “Why can’t I stick to my resolutions?” it can be more helpful to ask:
“Were my goals designed to fit into my real life?”
If the answer is no, it’s not a character flaw but a design issue.
A More Effective Approach: Habit Stacking
Instead of focusing on big resolutions, a more sustainable approach is to focus on small changes, built gradually into your existing routines. One simple and powerful way to do this is through habit stacking.
Habit stacking means attaching a new, small habit to something you already do regularly.
Rather than trying to create a whole new routine, you build on what’s already there.
For example:
While you wait for the kettle to boil, take three slow breaths
After brushing your teeth, stretch for one minute
When you sit down at your desk, roll your shoulders and unclench your jaw
After you pour your morning coffee, drink a glass of water
These actions may seem small — and that’s exactly the point.
Why Small Changes Matter More Than Big Ones
Small habits don’t rely heavily on motivation. They’re easier to repeat, less intimidating and far more likely to stick.
Over time, these small actions create a ripple effect:
They build trust in yourself.
They reduce the all-or-nothing mindset.
They shift change from something punishing to something supportive.
Consistency grows from what feels manageable, not from what feels overwhelming.
Let February Be a Reset, Not a Verdict
February doesn’t have to be the month that proves you “can’t stick to things.” It can be the month you choose a different approach.
Instead of scrapping the entire idea of change, you might ask:
What is one small thing I could add to my day?
Where can I gently support myself rather than push harder?
What feels realistic right now?
Change doesn’t need a dramatic restart. It needs compassion, patience and room to grow.
Moving Forward, One Small Step at a Time
You don’t need a new year to begin again. You don’t need a perfect plan and you certainly don’t need to shame yourself into change.
Lasting growth is rarely loud or extreme. More often, it’s quiet, steady and built through small moments repeated over time.
If January didn’t go the way you hoped, that doesn’t say anything about your worth or capability. It simply offers information and the opportunity to try something gentler.
Small changes count and they add up.
One habit, one moment, one day at a time.